Alan Carr and Piers Morgan in bust up

The world of celebrity has gone all catty again after Alan annoyed Piers, then Piers criticised Alan and then Alan mocked Piers! Piers Morgan wrote in his Mail on Sunday column that Alan Carr was “stupendously mediocre” and criticised his “whiny, repugnant” voice. Nice.

The only reason Piers had anything to say was because Carr had already branded him the “most annoying man ever”.

“I’m not always ‘slagging him off’. This would imply a scale of interest in the stupendously mediocre Mr Carr that simply doesn’t exist in my head,” wrote Morgan.

“I don’t think he has merely an irritating voice. He has quite possibly the most excruciatingly high-pitched, whiny, helium-fuelled, nasal, repugnant voice in the history of mankind. With the possible exception of the Krankies.”

But Carr was quick to defend his words on Twitter: “Piers Morgan slagging me off again? Zzzz. I refuse to be drawn into an argument with someone whose face resembles a butternut squash.”

However Alan’s legion of fans offered their love and sympathy, so the comedian added, “Thanks for all the support you lovely people – but lets not talk about him on such a beautiful sunny day – positive thinking everyone.”

Meoww!