Britney Spears is cleared of abuse allegations

The allegations about Britney abusing her kids has been cleared as quickly as it started.

Britney’s former bodyguard, Fernando Flores, told a newspaper that he had seen Britney being violent towards her sons. But after social workers visited the star’s house, they are convinced that nothing untoward has happened.

“Social workers visited Britney’s house recently about the alleged abuse allegations,” said a supposed family insider. “Under California law, anytime anyone makes a report to child protective services, a welfare check is required to be made under law to further investigate. It doesn’t matter who has made the claim, or how outlandish it may seem. During the visit by officials, there was absolutely no signs of abuse. The boys are happy well adjusted toddlers that love their mama and Britney is fiercely protective of them. The investigation is 95 percent complete and no further action will be required. All that is essentially going to be done at this point is for the paperwork to be finished and then the case will be closed.”

The insider then described Flores as “an opportunist” and “a former disgruntled employee that is trying to take advantage of Britney”. They then went on to say that if anything had been going on, her ex Kevin would have intervened.

Phew!